To: you From: me Subject: us

I am a part of you, but it is the hardest truth that I deal with
There is more than just acceptance of your existence
but love I am unable to find
I see the reasons for your heart aches
Know of your anguish struggling through a dreary childhood
but cope with the result which is YOU, I am unable to do
Your ways, words, gestures, thoughts ignite such fury!
At times there is sympathy for you
Then unavoidable proximity hurts my skin
I know I am yours, but every cell in my being resists it
Occasionally the heart and mind wants normal for us
but what is normal?
Ridiculous that I find it in our incoherent, loud verbal feuds
I wish you could undo a few things
Walk into the past, erase those moments
How I wish I could forget and maybe, just maybe even forgive!
but the scars from our past, Ahh! such painful open wounds
I know your wounds too, perhaps like no one else does
but you found ways to heal that pushed me further away
At times I feel your regret in loosing what we could have been
My inability to just speak to you shocks me
I wish we could share space without feeling such strain
but the hurt, fear, anger from our shaky past cripples my intention
We could have been different with each other, maybe even friends
but we are not, can't or won't...I don't know anymore
Someday we might be content with each other, even have some wine together
And maybe never!