Religion - confused

Recently I was asked about my religion and I replied confused! Well I was raised practicing two faiths since the parents had an inter-cast marriage and I have prided myself in being able to respect all religions. Things changed drastically when mum decided to subscribe to dad's faith a few years ago and turned into a demi-preacher. I would have perhaps been a staunch believer quoting verses from the bible if mum had shifted lanes when I was a lot younger. The point is I have not been able to cross over completely and grew up to be critical about eccentric believers of any religion as well as those who cannot tolerate other faiths be it spirit or science.

How can one practice religion faithfully and have zero spirituality? How can one pray whole day, attend numerous prayer or religious gatherings, be acknowledged for firm faith and then not have the ability to appreciate another human being? How is it that you proclaim to be led by the omnipresent but then discount humanity in your approach towards those who don't belong to your belief group?

The whole idea is to be a better human being and if all the religious practices, teachings, counselling, etc. detaches human from being and love from life then I opt to stay confused. 

Dancing with a Difference

Holi ke Rang is the first skill sharing workshop that I have attended which is meant for individuals like me. Although I was there as a supporter I was soon learning dance with the Special Needs Future Development Center participants. I chided myself severely for sympathizing. Purely because, as a differently abled person myself, I am not a huge fan of sympathy. Some of them could not talk at all and few others would forget what they said few seconds ago. However, these individuals with their different abilities put their best foot forward at the workshop. It was difficult not to be inspired, educated and encouraged after the workshop and thank you Pali ji for making this happen. I wish more people were equally convinced about accepting and working with the different abilities of special needs community.

dreaming of reality...

At times there are realities in life that come and go like dreams. Every element of it is so true the person/people in it, the experience, the joy and the pain. Then the reality ceases to exist like a dream that breaks when you suddely wake up. The dream is beautiful and you want to continue seeing it and being in it but, there is no way that the dream returns. Forcing yourself back to sleep, squeezing the eyes shut, trying to remember all the fine details of that dream nothing works and it is the same when the most beautiful reality of llife doest not seem to return. The helplessness to bring it back and hopelesness in attempts to continue the journey just forms comet sized lumps in the throat and turns you into a moving alien mass that is strange to the known self.
Never know if a dream returns, and even if they do there is the ache for it to be more lucid. Don't know how many people experience the bliss of when reality returns, and that is something that you want to hold on to forever if possible.

Get rich in no time - I don't want to!

Disclaimer:  I am not allergic to MONEY and I truly love my friends and relatives who are magic at making the extra buck.

Allow me to start by mentioning that my father runs a business and I complain endlessly that he lacks shrewdness and sharpness to get money from his customers. Guess what? Looks like I don’t have ‘get-the-buck’ gene either!

I appreciate the rising ‘selling ice to an Eskimo’ breed of marketers/sales people/opportunity evangelists. These mostly are colleagues, associates, relatives or friends. Everyone has at least one in the family or friend list.

I don’t mind hearing about ‘Richard Branson’ size opportunities, but hey, I am one of those who enjoy sitting back and reading a book, write a blog or do some social work while those that are good at making the money makes it and maybe even spend a bit of that extra income on me. I have been to a few of these presentations to oblige the loving intention of friends that I get some extra income too. At other times I have been cornered at the presentation venue by relatives under the pretext that I am accompanying for a family errand. Beeeppp…you are definitely not seeing the good side of Ancy in the latter scenario.

In all honesty I get put off the moment I am behind doors, facing a boring projector screen and one of those wannabe presentation experts! A recent presentation that I attended had such a horrifying presenter; I would certainly fire her if she was in my team. Not denying that some people has the charm and charisma to hook you on the moment they say ‘welcome’. I love listening to these guys but, in such cases I am making mental notes for an upcoming business pitch to a client.

Don’t have a bank account to be proud of. My father paid my first term university fees and probably will bear the expense for term two too. But hey I don’t want to get rich now. I am a late bloomer and might appreciate the entire network/multi level/20 branches on my right and left kind of system at some later point. Right now I am suffering from an overdose. Friends and relatives turned ‘get rich quick or you are left behind in the race’ sales advisors should really take a step back and appreciate that people like me just like other things in life. I wouldn’t take it personally if my known list did not join my book club or read my blog regularly. Some make money and some like me spend the father’s money in spite of having a job! Big deal! The world would be a boring place to be in if everyone was a Bill Gates or Mittal.

It is great to come across opportunities that work like abracadabra money in my bank account. What is bugging is when you are viewed as a business opportunity rather than a friend or relative. I am not willing to turn everyone I meet into a money bag. I would have invested in this game just for the sake of friends/family who believes in this. After a recent kin-inflicted ‘get rich’ experience I guarantee that I will throw my money in the sea but not invest in one of these hyped ventures!

So while the majority of the population makes it big in the city I am going to just sit back, be ignorant and watch everyone else reach the Forbes list of billionaires. Meanwhile loved ones who may be fuming about this post please refer to my disclaimer above.

Flame by Pali Chandra

Flame, Pali Chandra, Kathak dancer, India, Video
the most relaxing and inspirational dance meditation ever. Can't help feeling a deep sense of spirituality every time I watch this video.

Hijacked

Midday I am supposed to be working and not blogging. I’ll just consider this my fifth break in the last two hours since I have no sane and reasonable explanation for what is going on in my head today. I have been on top of the world at one moment and plummeting into self-pity the next second.

Bugged with the emotional hijack situation going on in my head I have been reading about what is putting my mood on the roller coaster. Right now is when I need all my girlfriends for a detailed discussion about mood swings.

‘I have no control over the craziest thoughts in my head’ mode is not limited to me. Glad to know that I share this visiting mood imbalance with perhaps 3/4^th of women on this planet. Tried deep breathing, green tea, stretching, talking to myself and now am writing to hopefully let some of the madness out.

No kidding, I just welled up simply because I dropped my pen twice in a row and then started giggling in less than a second. I have been snappy and sucking out the patience of the lovely people who care to be around me all the time. I don’t want to say a thing and expect people to just UNDERSTAND what is going on in my head.  I am ready to shed the Nile from my eyes at the drop of a pin!! After all, how difficult can it be to understand that Ancy is unhappy about wearing green to office today and needs a hug?

Since morning I have (VERY SERIOUSLY) considered adoption, dropping ten kgs in one month, running away (for a holiday), becoming a nun, throwing my car in the sea, and getting a nose job. Totally bizarre and I honestly never knew that I had a problem with my nose!

Bottom line is that this is a sort of bail plea. My thoughts and feelings do not seem unreasonable at that point when it just oozes out and I will get back to being the normal Ancy SOON. Just don’t disown me if I start wailing like a two year old in the middle of a random conversation or say something totally weird and un-Ancy. My emotional stability is on a super short break since I just don’t seem to be able to take one!

Returning soon with love licks and giggles...

Tasmai Sri Gurave Namah

After days and months of practice and confidence-building I was finally dressed up and a few hours away from my maiden Kathak performance. As an ‘aspiring’ Kathak dancer with partial mobility impairment my first stage could not have been bigger than Dubai’s first ever Kathak festival. The chief guests could not have been more important than the living legend of the art form, Pandit Birju Maharaj and his celebrated disciple Saswati Sen.

In spite of the number of times that I have been on stage as a dancer and MC, I break into a sweat in the dressing room! Am I ready for a Kathak performance? Will I let my guru down? Do I look good enough for stage? EVERYONE is going to see me walk to my spot on the stage, what are they going to think?

The only thing I can do is to try and focus on Pali Ji saying ‘Yes, you can do it beta’, every time I have asked her “Are you sure Pali ji?” or “Am I ready Pali ji?” She says ‘you will not learn until you make a mistake. So go and make those mistakes. Accept the praises or criticism humbly from your audience and work towards being a better dancer’.

The time arrived, performance was done, mistakes were made, tears were spilled, appreciation and blessings received.

Amidst positive and negative criticism about Gurukulites, like me, who were conditioned by Pali ji to be up on stage in spite of our various physical and emotional challenges, all this teacher has to say is how wonderful her children are.

This post is a humble token of appreciation for an inspirational teacher who connects with each and every student in her class no matter what the numbers are and regardless of our capabilities.

For this priceless opportunity I have nothing but words to thank you Pali ji. Thank you for the hours you have spent correcting my posture, expressions and movements. Thank you for giving me the confidence to perform in front of your guru. Thank you for never seeing my limitations. Thank you for loving me the way I am. Thank you for your reassuring smile even when I made my mistakes. Thank you, Somna for your tireless efforts, which is the pulse of Gurukul!

Here is what a few other Gurukulites (students and parents) have to say:

Pali Chandra- Our Inspiration, Philosopher and Guide.

At times words fail to convey how we feel. Not only a guru, she’s also a force which guides and inspires us to be a good human being. She knows our strengths and flaws even through our silence. She is an aura of positivism, beauty, grace, warmth and love.

Kathak festival- It was indeed a privilege to learn from the legend himself Pt. Birju Maharaj and his disciple Saswati Sen here in Dubai! To be able to perform in front of our Guru's Guru and watching their live performance was a learning experience in itself. What more can a dancer ask for! It was an enriching experience to be cherished for a lifetime.

Thank you Pali ma'am and Somna for giving us this opportunity and the wonderful team of Gurukul, everyone involved with it, on-stage and off-stage who made the event more beautiful with their love and support. Thank you, Gurukulites for brightening everyone’s life.

-Anissha Ghaghada

The Kathak Festival was one of the most amazing weekends of my life!

Meeting, interacting with and performing before the very Icon of Kathak, Pt. Birju Maharaj and his foremost disciple Saswati Sen - was truly a priceless experience! Just being there, made all the difference.

Thanks to Gurukul for providing this platform and hats off to Pali Chandra, the incredible woman behind it all.

-Vineetha Mohan

Joining Gurukul and meeting Pali ji was a life changing decision for me. I have loved Kathak ever since I can remember. I always felt that I had a past life connection with this art form, but somehow I never got down to learning it until last year while surfing the net I came across Gurukul.

Pali ji is an amazing dancer, but more amazing is her capability of 'connecting' with each and every student at an individual level. Somehow she manages to touch a chord in each of our hearts. She rekindled fire in me that was almost burning out. I have always tried to be a happy person, but coming to Gurukul has completed and fulfilled me. 

Pali ji has every quality that a dancer, a woman and a good human being should aspire to have. She is my guide, my guru, my aspiration!

-Somya Sharma

Pali ji has been an inspiration to me ever since we met; we have become great friends since then. Words cannot express the feelings and bond we have with each other as tears are sure to pour when actually spoken or written. She is a true Guru for all her students and a true friend for a friend. Love you a lot my dear friend and will always.

-Dishna Mirchandani

I am sure most of the students and their families nurture a similar feeling of love and respect for Pali Chandra, Somna and Gurukul. Like I said before words and actions are not enough to express the gratitude or love that we have for this sister duo and Gurukul.