What's in a name?

'What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.' Great stuff, but seriously there should be a legal system in place so that SOME mallu parents stop naming their kids with such atrocious names! Aldo is a store, Audi is a CAR goddammit, Salu - ahem ahem, Gregarious - POOR chap! Digol - for flu and running nose am guessing, Jofy - bole tho? Huxely - sm kinda new luxury dish washing liquid perhaps, Berny - really?and SHANKY - tell me this is a joke!
I do not have the most interesting name and I need to probably change it as well. But the ones above need some help ASAP.

Religion - confused

Recently I was asked about my religion and I replied confused! Well I was raised practicing two faiths since the parents had an inter-cast marriage and I have prided myself in being able to respect all religions. Things changed drastically when mum decided to subscribe to dad's faith a few years ago and turned into a demi-preacher. I would have perhaps been a staunch believer quoting verses from the bible if mum had shifted lanes when I was a lot younger. The point is I have not been able to cross over completely and grew up to be critical about eccentric believers of any religion as well as those who cannot tolerate other faiths be it spirit or science.

How can one practice religion faithfully and have zero spirituality? How can one pray whole day, attend numerous prayer or religious gatherings, be acknowledged for firm faith and then not have the ability to appreciate another human being? How is it that you proclaim to be led by the omnipresent but then discount humanity in your approach towards those who don't belong to your belief group?

The whole idea is to be a better human being and if all the religious practices, teachings, counselling, etc. detaches human from being and love from life then I opt to stay confused. 

Dancing with a Difference

Holi ke Rang is the first skill sharing workshop that I have attended which is meant for individuals like me. Although I was there as a supporter I was soon learning dance with the Special Needs Future Development Center participants. I chided myself severely for sympathizing. Purely because, as a differently abled person myself, I am not a huge fan of sympathy. Some of them could not talk at all and few others would forget what they said few seconds ago. However, these individuals with their different abilities put their best foot forward at the workshop. It was difficult not to be inspired, educated and encouraged after the workshop and thank you Pali ji for making this happen. I wish more people were equally convinced about accepting and working with the different abilities of special needs community.

dreaming of reality...

At times there are realities in life that come and go like dreams. Every element of it is so true the person/people in it, the experience, the joy and the pain. Then the reality ceases to exist like a dream that breaks when you suddely wake up. The dream is beautiful and you want to continue seeing it and being in it but, there is no way that the dream returns. Forcing yourself back to sleep, squeezing the eyes shut, trying to remember all the fine details of that dream nothing works and it is the same when the most beautiful reality of llife doest not seem to return. The helplessness to bring it back and hopelesness in attempts to continue the journey just forms comet sized lumps in the throat and turns you into a moving alien mass that is strange to the known self.
Never know if a dream returns, and even if they do there is the ache for it to be more lucid. Don't know how many people experience the bliss of when reality returns, and that is something that you want to hold on to forever if possible.

Get rich in no time - I don't want to!

Disclaimer:  I am not allergic to MONEY and I truly love my friends and relatives who are magic at making the extra buck.

Allow me to start by mentioning that my father runs a business and I complain endlessly that he lacks shrewdness and sharpness to get money from his customers. Guess what? Looks like I don’t have ‘get-the-buck’ gene either!

I appreciate the rising ‘selling ice to an Eskimo’ breed of marketers/sales people/opportunity evangelists. These mostly are colleagues, associates, relatives or friends. Everyone has at least one in the family or friend list.

I don’t mind hearing about ‘Richard Branson’ size opportunities, but hey, I am one of those who enjoy sitting back and reading a book, write a blog or do some social work while those that are good at making the money makes it and maybe even spend a bit of that extra income on me. I have been to a few of these presentations to oblige the loving intention of friends that I get some extra income too. At other times I have been cornered at the presentation venue by relatives under the pretext that I am accompanying for a family errand. Beeeppp…you are definitely not seeing the good side of Ancy in the latter scenario.

In all honesty I get put off the moment I am behind doors, facing a boring projector screen and one of those wannabe presentation experts! A recent presentation that I attended had such a horrifying presenter; I would certainly fire her if she was in my team. Not denying that some people has the charm and charisma to hook you on the moment they say ‘welcome’. I love listening to these guys but, in such cases I am making mental notes for an upcoming business pitch to a client.

Don’t have a bank account to be proud of. My father paid my first term university fees and probably will bear the expense for term two too. But hey I don’t want to get rich now. I am a late bloomer and might appreciate the entire network/multi level/20 branches on my right and left kind of system at some later point. Right now I am suffering from an overdose. Friends and relatives turned ‘get rich quick or you are left behind in the race’ sales advisors should really take a step back and appreciate that people like me just like other things in life. I wouldn’t take it personally if my known list did not join my book club or read my blog regularly. Some make money and some like me spend the father’s money in spite of having a job! Big deal! The world would be a boring place to be in if everyone was a Bill Gates or Mittal.

It is great to come across opportunities that work like abracadabra money in my bank account. What is bugging is when you are viewed as a business opportunity rather than a friend or relative. I am not willing to turn everyone I meet into a money bag. I would have invested in this game just for the sake of friends/family who believes in this. After a recent kin-inflicted ‘get rich’ experience I guarantee that I will throw my money in the sea but not invest in one of these hyped ventures!

So while the majority of the population makes it big in the city I am going to just sit back, be ignorant and watch everyone else reach the Forbes list of billionaires. Meanwhile loved ones who may be fuming about this post please refer to my disclaimer above.

Flame by Pali Chandra

Flame, Pali Chandra, Kathak dancer, India, Video
the most relaxing and inspirational dance meditation ever. Can't help feeling a deep sense of spirituality every time I watch this video.

Hijacked

Midday I am supposed to be working and not blogging. I’ll just consider this my fifth break in the last two hours since I have no sane and reasonable explanation for what is going on in my head today. I have been on top of the world at one moment and plummeting into self-pity the next second.

Bugged with the emotional hijack situation going on in my head I have been reading about what is putting my mood on the roller coaster. Right now is when I need all my girlfriends for a detailed discussion about mood swings.

‘I have no control over the craziest thoughts in my head’ mode is not limited to me. Glad to know that I share this visiting mood imbalance with perhaps 3/4^th of women on this planet. Tried deep breathing, green tea, stretching, talking to myself and now am writing to hopefully let some of the madness out.

No kidding, I just welled up simply because I dropped my pen twice in a row and then started giggling in less than a second. I have been snappy and sucking out the patience of the lovely people who care to be around me all the time. I don’t want to say a thing and expect people to just UNDERSTAND what is going on in my head.  I am ready to shed the Nile from my eyes at the drop of a pin!! After all, how difficult can it be to understand that Ancy is unhappy about wearing green to office today and needs a hug?

Since morning I have (VERY SERIOUSLY) considered adoption, dropping ten kgs in one month, running away (for a holiday), becoming a nun, throwing my car in the sea, and getting a nose job. Totally bizarre and I honestly never knew that I had a problem with my nose!

Bottom line is that this is a sort of bail plea. My thoughts and feelings do not seem unreasonable at that point when it just oozes out and I will get back to being the normal Ancy SOON. Just don’t disown me if I start wailing like a two year old in the middle of a random conversation or say something totally weird and un-Ancy. My emotional stability is on a super short break since I just don’t seem to be able to take one!

Returning soon with love licks and giggles...