A Non-Native English Speaker Jobseeker

You will come from an agency-background, or have worked in a consultancy capacity, therefore used to working on more than one brand/project at a time - Check
You will be at Senior Account Manager level, able to work autonomously and with the gravitas to instil confidence in the clients you work with - Check
You will have a well-stocked portfolio of written pieces, able to send samples of your work, and be genuinely passionate about writing - Check
Unfortunately only native English speakers will be considered for this role, given the amount of English writing that is involved - a) You are kidding me! b) I want to respond to this. Actually no, I want to react to this and I did. 

Dear Concerned at xxx xxx xxxx xxxx Agency,

My name is Ancy Alexander and I am a communications professional with over nine years of experience in Dubai.

This is not an application for the PR Manager role advertised on xxx xxx jobs board, but I am forced to express my concern about the tone of disdain in the sentence 'Unfortunately only native English speakers will be considered for this role, given the amount of English writing that is involved.'

It is understandable that the agency specifically requires a native English speaker; however, this sentence implies that a non-native English speaker lacks the aptitude to handle the English language. This is either a severe developed world ignorance or arrogance both ill befitting the multi-cultural pulse of Dubai or any other cosmopolitan city in today's world.

The agency had the option of indicating that only native English speakers will be considered for this role. Assuming that other nationalities do not know how to write or speak as well as a native-English speaker is quite distasteful especially in the 21^st century.

This letter might not be a professionally genius step for my career here, but as an expat born and raised in Dubai embracing cultures and people from around the world this job post was not the most pleasant read. English has travelled and is used extensively as well as efficiently way beyond the land of native-English speakers.

Wish you a pleasant day and weekend ahead.

Regards,

Ancy Alexander

Is that you?

Is it your voice that I heard?

a baritone that kissed my soul

Was that a wave of your cologne?

scintillating tug as I breathed in 

Did I catch a glimpse of your smile?

a wonderful curve that tickled my pulse 

Was that you in pale blue and jeans? 

locking my world as you brisked past

Did I see you hold the door?
stirring a whirlwind with that act
Was that the sound of your laughter?
causing the heart to beat faster
Was that your shadow that passed?
even silhouette as glorious as the morning sun
Are you too thinking of me?
what else would thus kindle the core of my being!

Romancing a dilemma

wish I could run into your arms, not scarred by your philandering 

but should I be longing for this? 

wish I could be intoxicated at your lips, not caring about imperfections

but should I ignore your vices? 

wish I could demand comfort on your chest, with no worry of confusions

but should I be blind to your indifference?

wish I could melt in your love, with no ache about repercussion

but should I hold on to those few moments of lies? 

wish there was a better version of you, for me to celebrate 

but, I fear that is more than a fair prayer...

To: you From: me Subject: us

I am a part of you, but it is the hardest truth that I deal with
There is more than just acceptance of your existence
but love I am unable to find
I see the reasons for your heart aches
Know of your anguish struggling through a dreary childhood
but cope with the result which is YOU, I am unable to do
Your ways, words, gestures, thoughts ignite such fury!
At times there is sympathy for you
Then unavoidable proximity hurts my skin
I know I am yours, but every cell in my being resists it
Occasionally the heart and mind wants normal for us
but what is normal?
Ridiculous that I find it in our incoherent, loud verbal feuds
I wish you could undo a few things
Walk into the past, erase those moments
How I wish I could forget and maybe, just maybe even forgive!
but the scars from our past, Ahh! such painful open wounds
I know your wounds too, perhaps like no one else does
but you found ways to heal that pushed me further away
At times I feel your regret in loosing what we could have been
My inability to just speak to you shocks me
I wish we could share space without feeling such strain
but the hurt, fear, anger from our shaky past cripples my intention
We could have been different with each other, maybe even friends
but we are not, can't or won't...I don't know anymore
Someday we might be content with each other, even have some wine together
And maybe never!

Blog post for Fifth Ring

http://blog.fifthring.com/what-im-looking-forward-to-in-2014/

Thumri – curtain raiser for Art Nights by Pali Chandra

I am a biased Kathak audience and with justifiable reason for being so, the reason is Pali Chandra. She is my guru, mentor, friend, mother and above all an exemplary dancer and choreographer. This is by no means a first time description about this individual, just that some people like her can never be described enough.
 Going back to what makes me, at the risk of sounding arrogant, say that I am a biased Kathak audience. On Friday, 21^st of June Art Night was premiered at the Gurukul studio in Dubai. Art Nights is a series of lecture cum demonstration sessions by Pali Chandra where she presents the genetics of an aspect of Kathak to art lovers in a close-knit setting.
 Personally the lead up to this much awaited evening was more sweat inspiring and stomach churning than exciting since in an almost usual fashion the evening’s director Shruthi Rameshan, her creative crew and ushers like me were ordered by Pali Chandra to turn up looking nothing less than dames from a marriage celebration song in a Karan Johar movie. The evening was about Pali Chandra presenting Thumri and she effortlessly infused a bunch of girls, especially me, who had to practice sitting and getting up in a sari 10 times and try to loose at least 5 kgs of prosperity accumulated at the waist area before being able to perform a piece as a part of the evening’s demonstration.
 Moving on…as her student I am all ears when she explains the origin of an element of Kathak and its renaissance. As an aching-to-be dancer my eyes compete with the Ganges every time I see her teach or present an abhinaya (expression based) piece. Attending a lecture and demonstration on Thumri meant a marriage of both these effects on the audience and this is no surprise when in the presence of the recipient of the prestigious Lachhu Maharaj award for mastery of abhinaya.
 Starting with a brief introduction about Thumri, which arose in popularity during the 19^th century in the Lucknow court of Wajid Ali Shah, and its journey through different eras Pali Chandra unfolded a mystic evening demonstrating the eight nayikas (heroines) through a medley. Accompanying her with the vocal and weaving a durbar like ambience was Mohd Mehboob Ali.
 The audience was engulfed in a wave of soft smiles, glistening eyes and prickled skin as she presented each nayika dressing up for her lover, quarreling with him, distressed by her love, enraged with him, deceived by him and anxious and excited about going to meet her love.
 Submission was the only option available that evening as Pali Chandra expressed and explained each emotion effortlessly. Everyone present in the studio was basking in the beauty, warmth and creative intelligence of this artist during the evening and the unanimous vote is WE WANT MORE!

Sunethri

My two weeks stay at Sunethri Ayurvedashram & Research centre had only one agenda, any physical improvement or conditioning to be able to dance better. My soul's biggest ache is not being able to reciprocate with my body what I seem to be able to do in my head during Kathak training sessions and dance rehearsals.

The immense support that I get from my guru Pali Chandra, friends and the audiences that I have performed in front of till date has been my biggest encouragement. However, I must confess that I am quite mercilessly critical about myself when it comes to dance. The struggles of the dancer locked in my body can perhaps be a different post.

Mum's agenda was straightforward too, any improvement to get more points in the pitiful (according to me) Kerala marriage market.
 Anyways, I had reached Sunethri and it was supposed to be two weeks of treatment, plenty of reading time, me time, more importantly zero work time. By the time I left the Centre I had met so many people and made lovely friends from all age groups. My respect for Dr. Prasad and his wife Dr. Sheniya multiplied exponentially during my stay there. It is fantastic to observe how this couple operate as highly proficient doctors and wonderful people at the same time. 

Dr. Prasad and Dr. Sheniya also attract lovely people who make up the brilliant team at the Centre. The therapists are unfortunately missing from this picture. 

Please note: visiting staff - my baby Hannan (she only reports to Pages aka Dr. Tejas) and Vani akka (Colgate smile in white and red) who manages the entertainment division when she is at the Centre. 

Not to forget Dr. Shadia...

The time spent at Sunethri was a lot more than holistic health time and I can't think of words to describe how I have been touched and inspired by the people I met here. The simplicity of the easily-lovable people that I got to spend time with and the incredible emotional strength with which they handle their own or a loved one's health/mental condition is enviable. 

Missing here are pictures of Indira aunty, Pooja, Jessy and her kids. You all are missed and I can't wait to see everyone again.

Pali ji I would have never met these people if you wouldn't have twisted my arms to meet Dr. Prasad. Thank you is too small a word to express my gratitude for your presence in my life and everything that you think and do for me, but THANK YOU.

Immense gratitude to Dr. Prasad and Dr. Sheniya for connecting with the dancer in me and for making my treatment period seem like a family holiday. 

Man at the crossing

On Sunday or maybe Monday, last week, I was in a rush (as always) to get to office before 8.30 AM. I understand that other motorists on the road at that time EVERYDAY are on similar missions, but on a daily basis Ms. Understanding takes the back seat during rush hour. 

One of my favorite couples in this world Sangeet and Anand will roar with laughter at this line...I was at the Galadari signal. Anyways, while they continue giggling I shall get to the main part of this post.

There is a tricky right at this signal which is no less dangerous than some war struck border. Getting on to the lane to take this right requires daring calculations and maneuvering. Avoiding an accident requires no fear for traffic violations. Celebrated Grand Prix racers will find this route an exciting challenge. 

At this turn is a zebra crossing and God bless motorists who are kind enough to let pedestrians pass,  regardless of the violent honking that they get subjected to for doing so. Usually it is people jumping on to the road and crossing with severe frowns or cursing the cars. 

On this day, waiting to cross, was an elderly man in simple clothes carrying modest lunch in a transparent bag. No idea how I managed to notice so many things about this individual, but there was something about his smile brighter than the summer sun and body language that was simple yet inspiring. With his sincere smile he was indicating for motorists to let him pass when a tourist joined him at the crossing. The man immediately greeted the tourist. I stopped to let these men cross; he ensured that the tourist got to cross along with him, waved thanks to me and offered a friendly salute to the tourist guy before walking away.

I am guessing it was his smile that captured my attention. Something about this man at the crossing that offered more valuable tips for life than one can possibly find in best selling self help books:

Little patience and a smile can help you get through the busy and complicated crossings in life.

One does not have to initiate a renaissance to be remembered; a pleasant attitude should suffice. 

Dance statement

Talent in general including dance does not necessarily come in exquisite packages. It is prayer for some, fun for others; in other words a celebration of human emotions. 

A range of silly thoughts crossed my head when my guru Pali Chandra asked me to be on stage with dancers from Special Needs Future Development Center (SNF) and Gurukul for SAATHI's third anniversary celebration held at the Indian Consulate on Friday, 8th June. Although I was a part of the workshops, conducted by Pali ji, to prepare the SNF dancers for this show I caught myself worrying about the way I would look on stage. I was worried about not doing justice to the choreography. I was insanely upset that my physical limitations will be obvious to the audience.

These shallow, crazy thoughts pinched my nerves right until I saw the SNF dancers dressed in their costumes with make up on, excited and all smiles back stage. These performers might have been nervous but, certainly none of them were skeptical about being a differently abled dancer. Their attitude and excitement about rocking the stage was contagious, encouraging and humbling. I was not concerned about me anymore, we were a team. It was a dedication to differently abled artists. It was a unified proclamation that art and talent is not restricted to a particular section of the society. It was a prayer to encourage co-existence between the mainstream and specially abled communities. 

On stage with these fantastic stars, in front of a brilliant audience I did what I know how to do best and with no inhibition, I danced! 

What's in a name?

'What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.' Great stuff, but seriously there should be a legal system in place so that SOME mallu parents stop naming their kids with such atrocious names! Aldo is a store, Audi is a CAR goddammit, Salu - ahem ahem, Gregarious - POOR chap! Digol - for flu and running nose am guessing, Jofy - bole tho? Huxely - sm kinda new luxury dish washing liquid perhaps, Berny - really?and SHANKY - tell me this is a joke!
I do not have the most interesting name and I need to probably change it as well. But the ones above need some help ASAP.

Religion - confused

Recently I was asked about my religion and I replied confused! Well I was raised practicing two faiths since the parents had an inter-cast marriage and I have prided myself in being able to respect all religions. Things changed drastically when mum decided to subscribe to dad's faith a few years ago and turned into a demi-preacher. I would have perhaps been a staunch believer quoting verses from the bible if mum had shifted lanes when I was a lot younger. The point is I have not been able to cross over completely and grew up to be critical about eccentric believers of any religion as well as those who cannot tolerate other faiths be it spirit or science.

How can one practice religion faithfully and have zero spirituality? How can one pray whole day, attend numerous prayer or religious gatherings, be acknowledged for firm faith and then not have the ability to appreciate another human being? How is it that you proclaim to be led by the omnipresent but then discount humanity in your approach towards those who don't belong to your belief group?

The whole idea is to be a better human being and if all the religious practices, teachings, counselling, etc. detaches human from being and love from life then I opt to stay confused. 

Dancing with a Difference

Holi ke Rang is the first skill sharing workshop that I have attended which is meant for individuals like me. Although I was there as a supporter I was soon learning dance with the Special Needs Future Development Center participants. I chided myself severely for sympathizing. Purely because, as a differently abled person myself, I am not a huge fan of sympathy. Some of them could not talk at all and few others would forget what they said few seconds ago. However, these individuals with their different abilities put their best foot forward at the workshop. It was difficult not to be inspired, educated and encouraged after the workshop and thank you Pali ji for making this happen. I wish more people were equally convinced about accepting and working with the different abilities of special needs community.

dreaming of reality...

At times there are realities in life that come and go like dreams. Every element of it is so true the person/people in it, the experience, the joy and the pain. Then the reality ceases to exist like a dream that breaks when you suddely wake up. The dream is beautiful and you want to continue seeing it and being in it but, there is no way that the dream returns. Forcing yourself back to sleep, squeezing the eyes shut, trying to remember all the fine details of that dream nothing works and it is the same when the most beautiful reality of llife doest not seem to return. The helplessness to bring it back and hopelesness in attempts to continue the journey just forms comet sized lumps in the throat and turns you into a moving alien mass that is strange to the known self.
Never know if a dream returns, and even if they do there is the ache for it to be more lucid. Don't know how many people experience the bliss of when reality returns, and that is something that you want to hold on to forever if possible.

Get rich in no time - I don't want to!

Disclaimer:  I am not allergic to MONEY and I truly love my friends and relatives who are magic at making the extra buck.

Allow me to start by mentioning that my father runs a business and I complain endlessly that he lacks shrewdness and sharpness to get money from his customers. Guess what? Looks like I don’t have ‘get-the-buck’ gene either!

I appreciate the rising ‘selling ice to an Eskimo’ breed of marketers/sales people/opportunity evangelists. These mostly are colleagues, associates, relatives or friends. Everyone has at least one in the family or friend list.

I don’t mind hearing about ‘Richard Branson’ size opportunities, but hey, I am one of those who enjoy sitting back and reading a book, write a blog or do some social work while those that are good at making the money makes it and maybe even spend a bit of that extra income on me. I have been to a few of these presentations to oblige the loving intention of friends that I get some extra income too. At other times I have been cornered at the presentation venue by relatives under the pretext that I am accompanying for a family errand. Beeeppp…you are definitely not seeing the good side of Ancy in the latter scenario.

In all honesty I get put off the moment I am behind doors, facing a boring projector screen and one of those wannabe presentation experts! A recent presentation that I attended had such a horrifying presenter; I would certainly fire her if she was in my team. Not denying that some people has the charm and charisma to hook you on the moment they say ‘welcome’. I love listening to these guys but, in such cases I am making mental notes for an upcoming business pitch to a client.

Don’t have a bank account to be proud of. My father paid my first term university fees and probably will bear the expense for term two too. But hey I don’t want to get rich now. I am a late bloomer and might appreciate the entire network/multi level/20 branches on my right and left kind of system at some later point. Right now I am suffering from an overdose. Friends and relatives turned ‘get rich quick or you are left behind in the race’ sales advisors should really take a step back and appreciate that people like me just like other things in life. I wouldn’t take it personally if my known list did not join my book club or read my blog regularly. Some make money and some like me spend the father’s money in spite of having a job! Big deal! The world would be a boring place to be in if everyone was a Bill Gates or Mittal.

It is great to come across opportunities that work like abracadabra money in my bank account. What is bugging is when you are viewed as a business opportunity rather than a friend or relative. I am not willing to turn everyone I meet into a money bag. I would have invested in this game just for the sake of friends/family who believes in this. After a recent kin-inflicted ‘get rich’ experience I guarantee that I will throw my money in the sea but not invest in one of these hyped ventures!

So while the majority of the population makes it big in the city I am going to just sit back, be ignorant and watch everyone else reach the Forbes list of billionaires. Meanwhile loved ones who may be fuming about this post please refer to my disclaimer above.

Flame by Pali Chandra

Flame, Pali Chandra, Kathak dancer, India, Video
the most relaxing and inspirational dance meditation ever. Can't help feeling a deep sense of spirituality every time I watch this video.

Hijacked

Midday I am supposed to be working and not blogging. I’ll just consider this my fifth break in the last two hours since I have no sane and reasonable explanation for what is going on in my head today. I have been on top of the world at one moment and plummeting into self-pity the next second.

Bugged with the emotional hijack situation going on in my head I have been reading about what is putting my mood on the roller coaster. Right now is when I need all my girlfriends for a detailed discussion about mood swings.

‘I have no control over the craziest thoughts in my head’ mode is not limited to me. Glad to know that I share this visiting mood imbalance with perhaps 3/4^th of women on this planet. Tried deep breathing, green tea, stretching, talking to myself and now am writing to hopefully let some of the madness out.

No kidding, I just welled up simply because I dropped my pen twice in a row and then started giggling in less than a second. I have been snappy and sucking out the patience of the lovely people who care to be around me all the time. I don’t want to say a thing and expect people to just UNDERSTAND what is going on in my head.  I am ready to shed the Nile from my eyes at the drop of a pin!! After all, how difficult can it be to understand that Ancy is unhappy about wearing green to office today and needs a hug?

Since morning I have (VERY SERIOUSLY) considered adoption, dropping ten kgs in one month, running away (for a holiday), becoming a nun, throwing my car in the sea, and getting a nose job. Totally bizarre and I honestly never knew that I had a problem with my nose!

Bottom line is that this is a sort of bail plea. My thoughts and feelings do not seem unreasonable at that point when it just oozes out and I will get back to being the normal Ancy SOON. Just don’t disown me if I start wailing like a two year old in the middle of a random conversation or say something totally weird and un-Ancy. My emotional stability is on a super short break since I just don’t seem to be able to take one!

Returning soon with love licks and giggles...